Woke up freezing my ASS off this morning in the RV.. but got time to run in and take a nice shower, during which I broke the hot water handle.. with the water running.. yep. GREAT START!!!!
But, Chad, Xristian and I head to experience the Waffle House.. YES!! Waffle house hashbrowns! This is my first time.. I had eggs, a waffle and hasbrowns covered and chunked.. yummmmmy..
We hop back in the RV and spend forever looking for an RV Dump.. yeah, how glamorous, right?
So all of a sudden, I feel the RV slow way way down way way too quick.. I had been attempting to nap listening to some CCR.. yeah, CCR, you read right! With my head on Danny’s shoulder because my pillow is mysteriously missing..
I open my eyes to see.. the look of fear on everyones face.. as we are pulled over on the side of the NJ Turnpike.. yeah the two lane wide highway with cars, rigs and buses hauling ass by us.. everytime anything larger than a bird zooms by us the RV wobbles.. I decide it’s safest to sit in the cab of the rig, because I can only assume the rest of this thing is made with fiberglass, duct tape and bubblegum.. and it would probably shatter into two million shards of fiberglass if we got rear ended.. Oh Boy!
(It couldn’t have anything to do with that 200 lb. Dead deer we ran over at one point on this journey)
After taking a couple pictures trying to catch a ride that won’t break down, we decide it’s too effing cold to stand outside.. although the colors changing on the trees and the 18 wheelers whizzing by make for a beautiful and scary view.. I head back to the safest spot as the guy shows up to jack up this thing and change our tire.. his truck reads “turnpike certified”.. I wonder if that means certified crazy and or stupid enough to be willing to work on cars and rigs on the side of this stupid road.. ..must be. I can’t decide if it’s safer to sit in the truck or perhaps go crawling into the woods with whatever crazy people might live amongst the trees on the side of a highway.. I’m expecting to run into a crazy man wielding an axe...
Biggest downside is that T is watching football on his pc, which means the rest of us forego internet access while football is on (wow, flashback to being a kid.. “no, theres 20 more minutes in the game..” Damn NFL Sunday Ticket bs rabblerabblegrrawwr.
At some point we’ll be heading to Dingbatz in Clifton.. for an early show. FP goes on at 8-ish, apparently there is a 10 pm noise ordinance there.. boo.
Finally we get to the venue.. OH BOY WERE IN NUU JOIIIISEEEY. (Fml!)
I have to pee like a racehorse so I run in, forgetting to even grab a purse (most venues don’t seem to mind not checking my id at all, much less when I have the “out of my way or I will piss where I stand” look.. but this lil joi-sey bitch decides to tell me that if I’m not IN the band, I have to pay $20 to get in.. I try, frustratedly (is that a word? It is now!) to explain to her that I , yes, AM WITH THE BAND. I am the merchandiser.. (too big of a word, apparently) ...I sell their t shirts and shit.. she still says I need to pay or talk to somebody or other.. OMFG, I am about to pee on her at this point. I tell her I LIVE ON THE RV WITH THE BAND, YES I AM BAND!!! And decide to forego talking to anyone and run to the bathroom.. which I see the back of the stall has the following scratched into the paint: “dont stop drinking piss” and I wonder if they mean, keep drinking urine, or dont stop drinking, just take a pee break.. Interesting.
So finally, I get to run across the street to Dingo’s Den to grab a bite to eat.. or not. Time to load in. We ask the bar to box up our food, which after carrying my boxes thru a crowd of people who dont seem to understand “Im behind you, excuse me” and continue to stand in the way, thru multiple trips past them.. I finally go with “EXCUSE ME THIS SHIT IS HEAVY CAN YOU PLEASE EXCUSE ME AND MOVE!!???”
Finally, I get in,and get a nice kinda cold Blue Moon.. and I break my clipboard. RAD, it’s that kind ofday, huh? Awesome. Thank god for Danny, and his “rape rub”.. kind of like rape is just surprise sex, a “rape rub” is a surprise backrub/backscratching.. it’s surprising and amazing!
The opening bands tonight are meh.. whatever, what can you expect from Jersey..
I don’t really see any fist pumpers in here, but this is definetly a small dingy punk-metal-club type place.. I like it. I did start off on the wrong foot with Jersey altogether, I slept funny and crooked on the way here, and woke up with a backache and kinda put off, and that door girl just killed it.. Though the beer helps fo sho.
The downside of doing merch on tour, is the options for getting paid are the following: take a weekly pay, or take a percentage of what you sell. It can go either way – if you sell a shit ton, you’ll want a percentage of that, thus, the harder you work, the more you make. Otherwise, you can take a weekly pay option, so you make the same no matter what. Usually you are included in the daily buyout (per diem) if that is what is on the rider. Otherwise you’ll get dinner and such provided by the club.. hospitality stuff, like I used to do at Galaxy. This can go either way.. if you don’t sell anything, you don’t get paid, on the percentage option.. and so far, I’m not doing great.. of course, on the day I’m stressed, gained 5 new bruises, and broke my damn cool calculator clipboard. FML. No... Fuck JERSEY!!
All I can hope is that there is good 'Za waiting on the bus.. yea.. pizza.. east coast pizza.. nomnom
"We're Faster Pussycat..and you're not.."
After the set, I patiently (or not so much) wait for load out.. finally we get done.. Danny makes me take a chocolate vodka shot, not that bad. He has decided that he's gonna tell everyone I'm his daughter.. I'm rollin with it.
Waiting now to go back to the hotel.. sigh.
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