Holidays with FP

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Happy Holidays from Faster Pussycat!

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FP Tour, The DAY AFTER...

Woke up some time in the afternoon.. finally, it’s time to go home. I call AAA to jump my car.. ugh.
Load all my stuff into my car, and head towards home.
I see that my car is on empty so I stop for gas.. forgetting not to turn off my car. WHOOPS, im a fucking dumbass.
After asking everyone at the gas station for help, I find a guy at the gas station across the street with jumper cables.
I hook em up cause he doesn’t know how.. sigh.
My car starts… but dies when disconnected from the cables.. and none of my electronics go on.
FUCK MY LIFE.
I call AAA and its still not working. We finally end up calling the tow truck and getting my car towed from the valley to long beach.. fml.
I get home, he drops the car, and I decide it’s shower then bedtime.

SO much for a relaxing day after tour…

FP Day 24, Ramona Ca, Main Stage

Woke up in a shitty hotel room this morning.. we had roommates of cockroaches, and I was pretty sure that the ceiling in the shower was going to collapse on me while showering. At least I got a shower.
Oh, and the room smelled of poo. Oh well.

We hop in the rv and head to Hollyweird.. unfortunately, we sit in a ton of traffic on the grapevine.
T and X get to shower at home.. lucky. Finally, we take off to Ramona.. more traffic. WTF? It’s Saturday!
We’re already gonna be late for soundcheck.. whatever, this is our last show.

After a slightly scary drive thru the damn near mountains, we arrive at the venue and quickly load in despite the rain. This venue is really classy, I like it!

AND THE BEST FUCKIN PART - We have a homecooked meal of pot roast, potatoes, and corn.. OMFG real food.. I don't know what to do with myself. I chow down and now I'd kill for a nap. SO GOOD. This venue rox even more now.

This is our last show, and closest to home. Ace's mom will be here, among other people. FUN!

It's bittersweet, the last show. I'm over the RV.. but I don't actually want to go home. Apparently my grandfather died (before you go OMG IM SORRY!!) I haven't seen him in about 20 years, except the past month he has been living in my house, but he has dementia and doesn't know who I am.. but he never bothered in those 20 years, so he is virtually a stranger. This just means there will be more family I don't know or care for there, and I'll be expected to go to a funeral, which I will not do.

Anyways, I'll prob go visit the momma for a few days.. then come back for my dentist appointment.. yeah, it's great working to pay for that kinda shit. yuck. work for a month to pay someone to inflict pain on me. Rad.

Anyways, we get a real souncheck, and it sounds really nice in here!

A couple cool customers. One was a super tattooed mohawked.. guy? Nope. Female. Huh, whoda thunk my radar is that off!?

Tender and I spend awhile looking at youtube vids of his bands, the Throbs and NY Loose. He said I remind him of the singer of NY Loose (Compliment! she's gorgeous!) and making fun of the opening bands. Hah.

Charrie, the lady here is SUPER sweet.. I mentioned having toured with VNV and she was super interested in bringing in new stuff, and making this a rad venue. It's already rad to start with, it's like an old single screen movie theatre, (like the Art Theatre in LBC).. I'm pretty stoked on it, I'd love to have a small venue like this.

Openers name is Negative Void. Isn't that a bit redundant? ..Yeah. They did a metal cover of Helter Skelter and tried to get the crowd to sing along.. they didn't seem to know it.. essh, san diego.. cmon.



A good show tonight, all in all.

Finally, I load out for the last time :( kinda makes me sad...

We get out to the RV, and I have a wonderful concoction of cream soda and vodka.. mmm.. after two of these, I give up along with nearly everyone else and pass out.

I wake up back in Hollywood, where we load back into T's house, and say our goodbyes..

I'm gonna miss these boys. A lot.

FP Day 22, Starline, Fresno, CA

Woke up this morning in a real actual house with a real actual bed..
although dismayed I couldn't drive my car today, as the battery is dead.. whoda thunk leaving a car sit for a month the battery would die.. ahh well.
We head to Taime's (I feel like I've done this before.. hmm) and get ready to leave.

We cut down on merch, since there is only two shows left.. then we head to Fresno.

There isn't shit between Hollywood and Fresno except cows. Boo.

We arrive at the venue, it's a cool little place. Little. The stage is about 18 inches high. But seems pretty cool nonetheless. I don't have much to set up, now, with only one box.. and I'm super excited to have the interwebs on my computer screen thing. YAY!

I am RIGHT next to the stage, so I can take pictures of Ace and Tender makin funny faces tonight. Fun!

I go explore for a bit.. I find a rad thrift shop.. closed. I find a rad salon, that apparently is sponsored by Manic Panic.. FUCK YEAH.. closed.
Finally, I explore long enough to find Valentino's, who actually used to be my customer at Lucky 13, and Draven.. they have some rad shit, but I'm broke, so I buy a cool bow, and move on with my exploring.

I find a tattoo shop, a hot dog shop, and a gift shop with epic paintings on the outside.. so I take pics with everything. Of course. I also found a small record store, but had to resist going inside, cause I can't afford to buy vinyl.. so tempting.

I head back to the venue, but first I take a pic of this very weird mural.. not noticing the gutterpunk kids below it.. I apologized for what looks like me taking their picture.. and get into a convo with them about how weird and scary this mural is. They seem cool, but odd.. as most gutterpunks are. Hah. Just hope I don't end up livin with em. hahaha.

Finally I get back to the venue.. A quick soundcheck, then it's dinner time. We head thru a sneakily painted doorway to the place next door.. and wait for a while for the waitress.. then a little longer.. finally, she comes to get our our order.. and 15 minutes later we get our drinks.. nearly 45 minutes later.. we still don't have our food. We start trying to figure out what job might be more appropriate for this girl.. fish monger? no, pointy objects. Data entry? too technical. Finally we settle on Toll Booth attendant on an Oklahoma Turnpike. She's that smart. HAH.

I was not impressed at all with my burger. I gave up halfway thru.

Danny is he only one who stays thru the openers, and we decide to play. Everytime someone takes a pic with him, I flp him off in the background. hehehe.

One of the openers covers Chris Isaak - Wicked Game.. but metal HAHAHA. Awesome.

So there's some interesting people here. .some really drunk annoying guy, a dude in a pink hoodie (from a previous show.. who later showed up in the womens bathroom) These guys we called Pauly Shore and Sammy Hagar..)
and a few other strange characters. One guy spilled his Newkie all over my table, but bought me a beer to make up for it.
The Pauly shore character I was ready to punch.. he spilled all over my table as well.. he finally got kicked out, he was so obnoxious
..

The pink hoodie guy actually walked up and said "two in the pink one in the stink" which I chose to ignore.

Taime, mid set, mentions that we have "power and the glory hole" for sale, and says "If you buy one savannah whill show you a nip.. if you buy like 5 she might show you her vag" ...lmao. I just held up the \m/

I hang out with one of the security boys for awhile, he's pretty cool and knows a lot of my close friends, he's a fan of the Koffin Kats. Always cool hangin w Kats fans.


Finally, the boys drunkenly load out.. I help with what I can, while having a nice cold vodka-cran-7.

we get back to the hotel, and I guess I'm staying in the room that smells of feet and poo. Fortunately I have a stuffy nose so I can only smell it for a moment.

Now.. it's bedtime.

One more night of this.. just one more night.

FP Day 21, Drive Day - Flagstaff to Hollyweird

Woke up a couple times this morning, we're so close to done that things are rather tense and tempers are short. I decide to sleep thru it all.

Woke up again at the border cross to Cali.. apparently the "fruit guy" as Tender calls him, needs to come in the RV to check stuff out, what's in our fridge, and make sure we aren't bringing any fruit or squirrels into Cali. He sees it's all beer and cokes in the fridge, and lets us pass.

Now it's just the drive I make nearly bi-monthly, the 40 from Needles to LA.. boring.

We squeeze in a stop in Barstow, although we hit the Pilot rather than the TA I almost always hit. I grab some Naked Juice, which has been a hard find on this tour, some Kettle chips.. mm.. salt and pepper.. nice. And a pb twix. This will suffice till we are back in Hollyweird where I can get some real food.
I also get Danny some Budweiser.. haha, I love buying beer for people older than me. Makes things more interesting.

We're on the way back to LA, so we can all sleep at home.. well.. everyone but me.. for one night. I'll be staying at one of the boys houses, since I live too far to bother with going home for a night. In the am well take off to Fresno.


We get back and everyone goes their separate ways - mostly to home to enjoy the night. Ace and I wait around for a ride.. some tv and some guitar playing later..

Finally it's bedtime, and I sleep like a damn corpse.

FP Day 20, Drive from OKC to Flagstaff

So today we started out our long drive up Route 40 (aka, kinda route 66..)
Bus call was early, 9:45, so I hurried up to get ready and headed back to yesterdays Carls Jr for some more healthy delicious home cooked meals.. hah.

We hit the road, and I went back to sleep. Woke up in Amarillo, TX, and I was ready to mess with Texas. Unfortunately my laziness took over my urge, and I didn't get out at the Wal Mart. Or anywhere else. I laid in my spot on the "bed".. what is normally the "dining table" until you fold it down.

We drove quickly past the Cadillac Ranch.. boy it looks small from the highway.

I got a lot done today, very productive. I watched some Family Guy, also, South Park, (the cooooon episode) and the first episode of Bret Michaels new show, Life as I know it. Boy, was that a dissapointment. I was hoping for the whoreishness and debauchery of Rock Of Love. No such luck. The whole episode was about Bret's initial appendicitis, then his anneurism, then a small stroke he had. Yes, poor guy.. but really? Even in the pics from the hospital he is STILL rocking the bandana.
"well, doctor, he had a brain anneurism, but you can't take of his bandana. Remember that story when you were a kid, where the girl always wears a ribbon around her neck, and when they take it off, her head falls off? Yeah, thats what the bandana does for Bret.."

I also tried downloading Married to Rock, but fuckin Itunes only has it in HD and it seems my little netbook doesnt like HD. LAMESAUCE.

I also got in some more napping, up until I woke up to the following"

"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!" (I want to specify it's a whoa, and not a wow. Wow can be like, WOW THATS AWESOME! Whereas WHOA in a large cumbersome vehicle traveling at 70 mph usually means impending doom)
Apparently the large big rigs right in front of us were swaying in the ridiculous wind, and nearly took us out.

So this all sounds like a relaxing day, right?

HAVE YOU EVER slept in an RV traveling at 70, swaying, swerving, bouncing, rattling, with all the lights on, and sun, and 6 people talking and or yelling? It's actually rather difficult. I should have gotten some Ambien.
Booze only helps with the initial falling asleep, not staying asleep.

It's kind of like sleeping on your friends couch during a party. If that couch is going 70, swaying swerving bouncing and rattling loudly.
It's not really sleeping. You have to sleep with one eye open, (more like a cat does, not like the Metallica song.. well, yeah, you are gripping your pillow tight)


Anyways, we finally get to stop somewhere in New Mexico. Fuck, I hate new mexico.
I like real mexico better.
I get some wonderful, nutritious mcdonalds (yuck) and we head to Flagstaff.
We are trying to make it to the Green Room, a small bar in Flagstaff before closing.

I end up deciding to sleep rather than drink.

It's below 20 outside, and its about the same inside the RV. Our generator decides not to start "DAMN YOU JENNY!" so we leave the van running and the heat on so we dont become pussycat popsicles.

boy i've slept a lot today.. and I'm gonna do so now.

FP Day 19, Oklahoma City, Ok

Woke up in Oklahoma today. Fuck this I'm going back to sleep.

OK, woke up again, and still in Okie country. Dammit.

It's been a long morning, after arguing and searching for an oil change place, and a place to dump the rv.. (how glamorous, right?) we finally make a couple stops.. a Kum'n'Go (hehehe, yes i DO find that funny!) and finally a truck stop.. we even get the RV washed! (it's at the point we cant see out the windows..)

The best part was pulling into the truck stop, we get pulled over.. yeah. T gets out to talk to the cop.. and comes back, almost laughing, and says "He's a huge fan"
So fortunately, we don't get a ticket.. cause the guy likes FP and is stoked to have pulled over Taime. Hah!

So, drama filled morning.. hopefully the rest of the day goes better.


At about this point, Xristian gets trapped back in the trailer half of the RV, when the door fails. Woo.

After yet another nap, we pull up at the hotel, which is conveniently located next to a Carls Jr.. so Ace and I head over to chow down. The people at this CJ were all really happy.. even the girl with the black eye.. yep, classy.

We get to the venue, and it's actually pretty cool. Its decorated like a city.. there's a garage with the back end of a 56 Dodge (le sigh.. it's pink) and a facade of a hotel, and more. Pretty cool.. I'm over in the corner, though, I won't see much of the show past guitar world. Oh well, not as if I haven't seen it 15 times so far.

So after wandering this venue, I figure out there is more to it than just this side.. we are in the bar, called Samurai's.. there is also a club on the other side of the wall.. and on the other side of that? A topless bar. Wow.. they know how to make money! Ha.


So I lucked out in a quick trip to Walgreens with the promotor, then back to the venue for the duration.

There were some interesting people there.. some drunk girl that would just NOT leave me alone.. I believe I was warned about her..

During the show, during Porn Star, they brought some strippers on stage.. good show.

Unfortunately, some women who are old enough to be my mother and have more cottage cheese than the local grocery store decided to run up on stage during the next song.. ohh boy.

Finally, we load out and hit the hotel.. ohh yeah. I watch some Joe Rogan comedy, then a show with Lemmy.. fuck yeah. bedtime.

FP Day 19, Peoria IL,

Woke up this morning on a little windy road to a bfe town in IL=, somewhere outside Chi-town
Taime got out to take pics of the bar.. with this look.. like.."really? seriously?"

We decide to head to Starbucks..I'm far too lazy so I send Chad in.. hah.
Coffee is nice, considering I'm coming down with the bus sickness.. aka the thing that makes us sound like a rolling TB ward.. it's disgusting..

After a guitar center stop, and wandering the mall for a bit, where I find a Living Dead Doll with MY NAME and a rad Muerto face, (which sadly I cannot afford to buy) we hit the hotel for get-clean time, and watch some Anchorman..It's the pleats! I'm taking these back to the pants store.. ohhyeah.

Now, I'm writing the rest of this post-show.. and lemme just say, I drank for like 20 minutes and im fucked up, so, this may be interestign, or not. And excuse my typos please.

initally Ace Xristian and I walked to Oscar's.. a small mom n pop restraunt named after a basset hound .. had some good steak, and froze my ass off walking back to the club.

The show was fairly shor, but good. Danny was a little.. shitfaced.. thanks to some bikers and the bar owner.. ahh well. nothin I can do.


After the sshow was a quick LOAdou5, then the rad bar owner, derek, decided to get us fully drunk i had like.. 4 or so, shots of that liquor made with coca leaves.. Agua or something. Ohh boy. He was a sweetheart, really.
I think it's time for me to stop typing and go to bed cuz I had this funny part typed out, then i accidently deleted it. so..yeah. I'm drunk Im going to sleep.

FP Day 18, Exit/In, Nashville, TN

Woke up this a in a meh hotel.. the water was warm, and sometimes just tepid for my shower.. whatever.
We hop back in the rv, and head to get gas and.. dundundunnn... white castle. Yes, white castle is delicious, but it is a TERRIBLE idea. Ahh well.. I'm eating it anyways, it's about the experience, right?

A short nap later, we arrive in Nashville, Tennessee. I like it here.. I have been to this venue before with VNV, so I know what's in town and what to expect at the venue.

Fortunately, we got here at 2 and load in isnt till 5.. fuck yeah! I get ready and head out to explore.. unfortunately, we are in the bible belt.. so nearly everything is closed on Sundays. The epic vintage store next door is closed.. boo! As is nearly every other little store around. I stop in with the boys to Gold Rush Bar. and ask the waitress what there is to see.. she mentions that the park has a replica of the Parthenon! Wha? I didn't see this before!

Nobody wants to walk (lazy asses, where is Gabe when I need him?) so I take off by myself.. hoping that Nashville is safe.. haha.
I head up a few blocks to the park, and wander thru it. First I find this little shell thing, I dunno what it is, but it's rad. I was going to jump the fence, although Gabriel, who I was on the phone with, warned me it might be a bad idea.. by the time I got the balls to do it, some creep had come up and said hi.. I decided against jumping into an enclosure with a fairly covered area, as I don't like setting up the rape so easy for creeps.. ahha.

I head over to this Parthenon she spoke of.. and boy, is it huge (that's what she said) <-- I said it for you, I know you were thinking it.

IT's pretty epic, it is a full scale reproduction of the real Parthenon.. its fucking awesome. I wander around for a bit, and find some nice chick to take some pics of me in front of it, as it's really hard to do a self shot in front of something thats like 10 stories tall.. ok maybe not that tall, but it's huge.

I wander a bit more, and find an interesting cement bow of a ship, I'm not exactly sure what it is at the time.. later on I look it up and find out that this is replica of the bow of the USS Tennessee. That's the actual decoration from the front of the ship. RAD!

Eventually I decide it's too cold and head back to the rv.. Ace and I grab some coffee at Coco's, the little cafe behind Exit/In.. yummm...

The opening band is pretty cool.. I think they are called the Hellbillies? They have chicks singing backup and now they are throwing balloons! rad!I'm pretty into it. They have a song called "Get dressed up and get tore down" ...hehehe.

A good set from FP, even though part way through a song Ace's wah pedal decided to break.. but a good set nonetheless.

The only downside was during load out, fans decided it was a good time to take pictures with Xristian.. who was the one helping us load the trailer..
FYI people.. if you ever see a band loading up, let them finish, then harass them, thanks

Now off to Peoria.. and bedtime for me.

FP Day 17, Frankie's in Owensboro, KINNN-Tuckeey.

Woke up epically late.. ok, I didn't but everyone else did. I got up an hour before bus call and headed down to the RV just so I could grab a spot and sleep some more.
So, that's what I do.. I forego breakfast, wally world stop, and starbucks and attempt to sleep.. but before hand I make sure Thomas gets a pic of Frederico the Bandito, the adorable raccoon (the coooooonnnn! ) we find living in the dumpster.

So I nap for as long as I can, then get up and get some snapshots of Indiana.. the coal plant, that looks like a damn nuclear power plant, and some busted up barns.. exciting, really.

Finally we make it to Owensboro, Kentucky.

After a rainy load in, we hurry up to the meet and greet that we are 2 hours late for at the local FYE.. oops. Taime doesn't come with. I bring merch to sell.. there's a few people who have been wandering the mall since the original time we should have been there. The boys sign and say hello to some fans, including the FYE crew, and then we have some fun.. posing for pics with a Justin Beiber standup, and the boys have some fun shopping..

I rush them cause I heard we have the opportunity to get tattooed.. and of course I'm not gonna pass that up. We head to a rather nice tattoo shop, Ink Mob Studios.. very LA, with pictures of mobsters up on the walls, (kinda like Gordo's paintings)

A guy named Adam does my tattoo, he's a young hip-hop esque white boy.. but nice. He usually does really pretty 3d stuff, from what I see of his work.. hmm.

I go for it. I decide to get my TCB tattoo.. and he did an awesome job. We'll see how well it holds up thru healing, but it looks great now!

So we get some Penn Station (uhm,yummy!) sandwiches.. and the girlie making the sammiches name is.. SAVANNAH!! Fuck yeah!!! She rox. And they all have the cutest lil kinnucky accent when they say Savannah.. I love it! I took a picture with her! Rad.

We haul ass back to the venue and I hurry up and set up.. all these people are very southern-hospitable.. there's one older guy (I forget his name..) Who has back problems, and his cane is a very large stick.. My immediate thought is, better not piss off the guy with the stick. RAD!

Apparently the men's pisser here is a trough.. I'm sending Tender in to take pics.

The openers are a pretty.. "interesting" 80s cover band.. I heard some poison, some idol, etc.. oh wow, now I hear some CCR.. eesh.

I have a hard time understanding kinntucky men's accent.. I just kinda smile and nod. Although some of the girls have the cutest southun accents ever..

BTW: I am not allowed to give away anything. So even if you own the venue, bartend there, what the fuck ever.. ask TAIME!!! jeebus.. not to mention when they give shit away it takes away items I could be SELLING and makin a PERCENTAGE on. fuckers. so BITE ME. Buy something.

Then get a weird FB message from some dude who wants a shirt, and can apparently see my photo album thru a tagged friend.. weird.
weirder than the random requests I get from fans..

So some jackass decides to sit on my merch table. Trying to be nice, but get my point across, I say "Do you need a chair" "No, I like this spot right here" to which I respond "Well, your ass is on my merch table, and you need to move it"

Then the insane toothless biker tweeker woman.. who felt the need to haggle with me.. if you want to haggle go to the swapmeet and leave me alone. She leaves, then comes back and asks if I'm "pissed" because the shitty opening band is selling cd's for less than I am.. as if that would bother me?

Then the random dude who asks "what I'm doing" and when I respond with a blank stare and "selling t shirts" he proceeds to ask "what t shirts" as if he cant see the giant chain link fence lit up like xmas behind me.. then tells me I'm cute.Poor Ace, I've already had to claim he's my bf three times tonight just to get the weirdos to leave.

After a few more weirdos, and another meet and greet, we finally head back to the hotel for some much needed sleep... bedtime.